Different?                                12/13/04

The name had flowed in my head for months

I knew you.

I didn’t know you.

Why then, that night, did you appear different?

Was it the light?

Was it the touch?

Why did you appear different?

I wouldn’t give in

My world was spun

I couldn’t give in

Admittance wasn’t granted

But then…

Even though I told myself no,

I couldn’t deny it.

They saw it.

They said it.

They knew that

I meant it.

But you changed.

A bond grew…

But then the bond broke.

You became different

I saw something.

It was a spark

It ignited in me the same spark

Did it fade away? Become distant?

Did you fade?

You became distant.

I lost what I felt

You obviously did, too.

Why?

What made this so different?

Letting go                     10/23/04

You held me for a moment
And for that moment, I didn't let go
    It happened so fast
    It seemed so right
For a short time I saw the sunshine
And your kiss calmed my fears
You made my world a little brighter
You opened my eyes a little wider

You're better than you think you are
You mean more than you think you do

But you're lost
And you need to find yourself

So Good luck
See the world through your eyes
And learn what you need to learn
Whatever you need to find, find it

And through it all
    I can be that friend.

Worthy Royalty                 9/15/04

He treated me like royalty
  praises flying left and ...wrong...

My heart gave in
   What else could I do?

Don't trust him, they said
Don't fall, they warned

But the words he spoke
Rang so much truer

Security and joy, all wrapped up
   in a nice little package,
    of cargo pants and wire glasses

Why did I let myself go?
The one desire couldn't be stopped.

He called me the best of them all
             I believed him.

Is this how you treat the best?
Walkigng on them and saying it's ok?

I wasted my time
You wasted my time.
      You used me.
I got attacked in the process

Only now, becuase of you, do I realize...

I'm not worth all that you told me I was.

Empty           9/5/04

You tell me I'm amazing
Your arms wrap around me
Your eye closes int he way that means
       "you're mine"
It all fills me with hope,
    yet, it's all empty.

I feel secure in you
I feel as if you're there to protect me
           You already have
  Was it all empty?

When I see your face,
    my heart skips a beat
When I hear your voice
    my face forms a smile

They have all thought it
I have said it
You have acted it

There's something more

   Is there something more?

I don't want it tobe empty
My heart feels so full...

I thought it was my turn
    It is my turn...
      ...to wait.

Close your eyes and think
   Think of the kiss in the moonlight.
     The slow dance under the stars
  The way my hand feels in yours
             ....think of us....

Doesn't it make sense?

Yet in the end,
    It all continues to be empty